If you’re wanting to feel more feminine, start socially transitioning, or concerned about passing (which is a complicated issue in itself), read on to learn how wigs can help.
This is the first in a series of how to look more feminine for transgender MTF people just starting their journey. Part 1: Wigs.
Note: I DO NOT receive any money from places/items I recommend. I’ve been previously offered commissions from places I already recommend and have turned it down. My job is to help people on their gender journey, not to do marketing.
How can I look more feminine?
This is a question I get a lot as a gender therapist. Most people don’t gauge a person’s gender by scrutinizing them closely - they focus on a few aspects. Hair is one of those!
I have short hair, so people often call me “sir” when they’re looking at me from the side or behind. That’s all it takes for people to judge my gender and feel confident enough in their assessment to call out to me.
Hair has an outsized impact when it comes to people perceiving our gender.
How do I get started with wigs?
When you’re first starting out with wigs, it helps to get a few items that make wig-wearing more comfortable.
Wig Caps and Grip Bands
I am putting a wig cap/grip band combination over my head. It doesn’t cover all my hair.
Wig caps: These are thin, stretchy head coverings that we wear over our hair. They keep the wig in place and make it more comfortable to wear. The inside of the wig has a plastic mesh, which can feel itchy.
Grip band: This is a piece of fabric that looks like a headband. Wigs often have combs on the inside that you can put in your hair to keep the wig in place. If you have short hair, there’s not much for the comb to stick into. The grip band can help give the comb something to attach to.
My recommendation: I like to use this wig cap/grip band combo. It’s soft and not too hot. You can also cut off some pantyhose (also known as stockings or tights) if you have those around, but they don’t feel as comfortable, in my experience.
Wig Stands
Preparing to put the wig on, over the wig cap.
You don’t want to put your wig on the floor! Having something head-shaped to put the wig on when not in use is important. Otherwise, the wig can get tangled, attract lint, or get dirty.
My recommendation: For beginners, you can start with a basic wig stand or a cute wig stand.
I have many wigs, so my system is more complex than I’d recommend for a beginner. I have a clothes rack with hanging wig stands.
People who like to style wigs sometimes get a tripod wig stand or tall wig stand. The wig is several feet off the floor, without needing to rest the stand on a table.
Wig Types for Beginners
For people starting out, it can be intimidating to figure out what kind of wig works. Here’s a run-down of different types.
Headband Wigs:
I am wearing a headband wig that has a black headband. You can see my natural widow’s peak showing.
These wigs have a headband attached to the front, and the wig at the back. These wigs allow a bit of your hair to show in the front of the wig.
If you have hair that you can pull under the headband, this can be a great option. The combs attach directly into your hair (or grip band). Many people don’t wear a wig cap with a headband wig, but it’s up to you.
Outré has a great selection of headband wigs in different colors and hair textures. (Click on the model and scroll down to see what colors the wig comes in).
Ponytail Wig:
Clip the ponytail to the back of a cap, then pull the hair through the opening.
This is a type of half-wig. If you have hair long enough to make a tiny pony-tail or bun, you can clip this to your existing hair. They often have clips or combs to sick into your hair.
I don’t have hair, so I’ve found a trick! Clip the ponytail to the back of a hat and loop it through, so it looks like it’s coming out of the hat.
You can find ponytail wigs in the half-wig section of wig shops or in the hair piece section.
Ponytail wig + cap. No hair? No problem!
Note: don’t try to attach a ponytail wig to an another wig. Wigs don’t have the same density or attachment to our heads, so the weight of a ponytail wig will make the wig slip off.
Ready to Wear Wig:
A "ready to wear wig" is a wig that is already styled and pre-made. This is a great idea for beginners because you don’t need to style or cut anything.
I like wigs with bangs, as I don’t have to mess with the hairline at all.
Lace Front Wigs:
An inside of a wig. Notice the clip against my finger, the lace in the front and middle of the wig, then black mesh elsewhere. I’ve cut the lace right at the hairline.
A "lace front wig" is a type of wig where the hair is attached to a sheer lace base at the front of the wig.
The rest of the wig cap is typically made of a more durable material, usually black plastic mesh.
If the lace’s color doesn’t match your skin, you can dye the lace using foundation/concealer makeup.
Lace front wigs have a large block of lace at the hairline, which you will trim down. People often glue the lace down on their forehead, then cover the lace with makeup for a blended look.
This is a lace front wig, but I’ve trimmed the forehead lace back so the lace isn’t noticeable.
I…don’t do that. I work as a telehealth gender therapist, so I’m on video. No one sees my hairline up close (except my wife, who is contractually obliged to love me) so I just cut the lace short.
Where can I get wigs for a large head?
Finding the best wigs for a large head:
Headband wigs like this one have more stretch in the front.
It can be hard to find wigs in larger head sizes. I recommend lace front or headband wigs. That way, the hairline is either fabric or lace, which can be stretched.
Place a lace-front or headband wig on something that is the circumference of your head or larger for a few days, or stretch it out with your hands.
Where can I purchase wigs?
(Again, I do not make any money from these referrals. I’m a therapist, not an influencer.)
An important note about wig prices:
A lot of wigs that are marketed to Black people are far less expensive than ones marketed to White people. These wigs are good quality. There is no reason for this other racism.
In fact, some people buy wigs, remove the tags, then resell them at higher prices using White models. This is disgusting.
If you’re wig shopping and notice the price difference, just know that it’s racism, not quality, behind the price.
Some brands I like are SEVENQ, Outré, Sensationnel, and Bobbi Boss.
Here are some places to order them.
YESSTYLE: This company has a great selection. They’re based in Hong Kong and ship every few weeks, so it can take a while to arrive. The wigs are best for smaller heads.
Haircube: This is a popular brand that you can order on Amazon.
Divatress: They have an excellent selection of wigs at good prices.
Wigs and Wigs Outlet: These wigs are more expensive and come in older styles, but they have good, brand-name wigs.
Sam’s Beauty: Great selection, good prices, this is another great shop.
I hope this guide was helpful! Be sure to check out future guides!
<3 Vered
Vered Counseling provides counseling for transgender and gender nonconforming folks. Read more about our therapy for transgender teens or counseling for transgender adults.
We also provide support for parents of transgender adults and teens.
Ready to begin getting help? Contact us to get started!