Therapy for transgender, non-binary, and genderfluid teenagers
Realizing you’re transgender can be exhilarating and frustrating
Things make sense!
Instead of wishing you were a girl, you can just be a girl. Instead of feeling like no gender really fits, you don’t have to have a gender. Moving from what you were assigned at birth to who you really are is a fantastic experience.
At the same time, it can be frustrating when other people don’t get it.
Family members might act like they’ve lost a child, when you’ve been the same person this whole time. Teachers and doctors might act weird. And society - yeah, there's some issues there.
If you’re transgender, genderqueer, or haven’t found a identity that feels right, please reach out. I’d love to help you be more fully who you are.
I’ve learned something in all my time working with teens:
the way out is to be more - not less - of you.
What do we do in gender-affirming therapy?
Gender therapy involves investigating, reflecting, and doing. How are you feeling? What affects your mood? What expectations are you holding? What do you connect with? What makes you come alive?
In therapy, we work together to parse and understand your feelings. We turn this miasma into something manageable - even usable.
Your family deserves competent providers.
My wife realized she was transgender a few months into our marriage. As we started looking into doctors and therapists who could support her, I realized how few providers were skilled in dealing with these issues.
Transgender and non-binary people shouldn’t have to know more than their doctors or therapists in order to receive adequate care.
I can't claim to understand what it's like to be another person. What I can promise is that I will try to be as competent and well-equipped as I can in order to navigate this together.
Therapy supports both transgender teens AND their families
I find that teenagers make more progress in therapy when their parents are also supported.
While there's more information out there now, many parents grew up without an understanding of gender identity issues. Parent want to know more about what their teen is going through. Parents often feel more confident when they understand what it means to be transgender. Their children then feel like they’re able to focus more on their mental health treatment.
When a teenager comes out, it impacts the entire family.
No matter how supportive family members are, they still have to adapt. They have to adjust their internal image of their child, possibly including new pronouns and a different name. They will have to say let go of old expectations of their teen. New hopes and fears - of different likelhoods - will take their place.
Vered Counseling offers a safe, therapeutic space for the whole family to talk about what they’re going though.
Just like transgender and non-binary teens, parents can face social stigma.
Families can find their social circle changes after a child comes out as another gender (including transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, or genderfluid).
"How much do I want to tell acquaintances who are good running buddies but not the most sensitive people? If my boss's boss says something transphobic, what should I do? If I say nothing, am I betraying my child? If I say something, will I get a reputation for being insubordinate?"
I find that parents benefit from a space to process all of this stress. Otherwise, they might end up directing it at their teen. Parents find safety and relief talking to a qualified therapist who specializes in gender identity issues.
How much will be shared with my parents after the session?
According to the state of North Carolina, teens are the boss of their mental health treatment.
They can consent to counseling without needing their parent’s consent. Their mental health information is also confidential, except in severe situations (where “notification is essential to the life or health of the minor” N.C. Gen. Stat. § 90‐21.4). I encourage all teens collaborate with their families to the extent that they feel comfortable.
Teenagers in Texas need safe spaces, too.
I ask all parents to respect their child’s privacy when it comes to therapy. Texas does not allow teenagers to consent for their own mental health treatment - the approval of a parent or guardian is needed. Still, I ask parents to treat therapy as a refuge for their teen. We all need spaces where we feel comfortable sharing our insecurities and fears. Parents can ask their teenager directly for information, and trust that their therapist will alert them when there are real threats to their teen’s health and safety.
Rates for Transgender Counseling for Teens
Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some benefit in a few sessions, while others create huge changes over several sessions.
Standard Rates:
50-minute counseling sessions are $175.
I have a limited number of sliding scale spots, starting at $125 per session.
Insurance for Counseling:
I have tried to use insurance and found it harrowing. You know how insurers don’t like paying for things? This also applies to therapy.
I have had an insurance company tell me two months into seeing a client that they were denying all claims, and they were caused by work-related issues. The kicker? The client was in middle school.
To avoid having to put myself and my clients in a situation where you are unexpectedly stuck with a two-month therapy bill or me having to write off all that income, I do not accept insurance. I would encourage you to request a sliding-scale fee instead.
Online Counseling for transgender teens in North Carolina and Texas
Kimberly Vered Shashoua is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (North Carolina #C011412; and Texas #59797).
Online therapy in North Carolina is available across North Carolina.
Texas online counseling services are available from anywhere in the Lone Star State.
In addition to gender counseling, Kimberly offers parent and family support anywhere in the world.
Additional Vered Counseling Services: Support for Trans Individuals & Their Family
As a gender affirming therapy center, Vered Counseling offers a variety of supportive sources for transgender individuals and their families. Gender identity therapist Kimberly Vered Shashoua provides counseling services for transgender teenagers, transgender adults & teenage girls. She also offers gender affirming counseling online in Texas and transgender therapy in Austin, Texas. For individuals simply needing support (versus the emotional process of counseling), Vered Counseling offers additional support for parents of trans teenagers. Also offered is support for transgender individuals navigating the unique aspects of embracing one’s true gender identity or supportive consultation for parents & family members. Contact Vered Counseling to begin any of our services!
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